UK Spoof News and Satire
Wednesday 7 September 2022 by Mark Molloy
Carrie Johnson has been spotted sneaking back into Downing Street this morning it is revealed holding a large empty cardboard box and a wallpaper stripper.
The wife of the former Prime Minister was spotted early this morning after Downing Street security noticed what appeared to be an emotional lady carrying what looked like a wallpaper steamer and a selection of wallpaper scraping implements.
Security guard Simon Williams confirmed, “She was mumbling something about ‘my fucking paper, I fucking chose it’ or something like that.
“I turned up for work this morning like normal, and when I checked the CCTV, I saw a lady climbing through the window of Number 11 with a wallpaper stripper.
“Obviously I needed to investigate because people breaking into a Downing Street address is not something you can ignore – and upon closer inspection, it was revealed to me that the lady in question was Carrie Johnson, and she was also holding a large box with ‘posh art and ornaments’ scrawled across it, but which actually contained a wide selection of wallpaper scrapers.
“Anyway, I just left her to it as I didn’t want to cause a fuss on Liz’s first big day and I presumed she was just helping her to decorate.”
Asked if he’s been to check on Carrie since he saw her enter the Downing Street flat we were told, “Oh yeah, I’ve brought her a cup of tea and a biccy, she’s doing a great job in there.”
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